Sesuatu rambang

Ada dua sebagai pembahagi. Hukum kira-kira, separuh dicampur separuh menjadi satu. Namun separuh durian dicampur separuh tembikai tidak menjadi sebiji durian mahupun tembikai. Hukum kira-kira rigid begitu tak terpakai disini.

Itulah kehidupan. Inilah manusia. Ragamnya terlalu pelbagai sehingga kau kabur dengan apa reaksi yang harus kau berikan. Jika kau menuduh orang itu bias, bagaimana pula dengan kau sendiri?

Ada satu manusia pernah merungut yang dia diskriminasi kerana tidak bertudung. Dia skeptikal dengan gadis bertudung seperti saya kerana katanya nanti dia akan dihakimi. Saya diam, tidak mahu berbahas. Lalu sekelompok gadis bertudung labuh menghampiri saya, bercerita rancak memburukkan manusia yang tidak lengkap menutup aurat. Rancak sungguh bercerita sehingga terjuih-juih mulut mengata akan dosa-doa manusia lain sampai terlupa dosa mengumpat sendiri.

Lalu saya merumuskan, manusia semuanya sahaja. Dua dua pihak saling menghakimi dan tuduh menuduh. Semuanya termasuk saya tertipu dengan doktrin pemikiran sendiri.

Hari hari saya harus mengendali karenah manusia sehingga saya menjadi bingai sendiri. Akhir akhir ini genetik marah kembali menjentik. Setelah lama memujuk diri menjadi manusia sabar, akhir ini saya kehilanganya. Bagaikan membuak-buak rasa itu ingin keluar.

Oh Tuhan, tetapkanlah hati ini untuk terus diselubungi ketenangan dan kesabaran.

Spontan

sekarang rasa sangat tepu dengan semua benda yang baru terjadi. Workload yang banyak dan sleepless night selama hampir 7 hari. Bila tiba-tiba semuanya dah berakhir, sekarang blur dengan dunia. Nak siapkan kerja lain pun terbantut. Masih tercangak-cangak depan komputer.

Bukan rindukan workload yang banyak tapi masih dalam fasa membiasakan diri. Otak tak boleh nak terjemahkan segalanya dalam bentuk ayat bila semua perasaan bercampur baur.

Mungkin lain kali. Kita bercerita lagi di lain hari.

Skeptical minded

After Nur Kasih the series, I havent watch any malay series much. Unlike most people, I love Nur Kasih the series when I accidentally watched the first episode at home. I like the cinematography but most importantly the scripts and it makes me wondered who possibly wrote such scripts with those beautiful dialogues. Most malay series or movies that I ever watched had crappy scripts and this particular series is different from the skeptical mind of me towards local film industry.

However as times goes by, more people watched the series and most of them watched it because of the love story between Adam-Nur Amina. Well, I choose to differ. As for me, Nur Kasih is about a brother (Aidil) who never gave up to show his younger brother (Adam) the path of Islam. The final scene of this series shows this brother-hood relationship though the whole series were stressed more on Adam - Nur relationship.

This series somehow show the true characteristic of a Dai'e should have; a constant effort towards his mad'u. And the most important people that we should be doing dakwah is indeed to our own family.

Street life

Hari hari kita beribadah, segalanya mula menjadi rutin. Bangun pagi, gosok gigi, mandi dan semuanya rutin hampir di setiap pagi. Kadang-kala kita lupa tujuan kita buat sesuatu bila sesuatu itu dah menjadi rutin. Setiap hari adalah hari hari yang sama.

Esok, kita bangun dan cuba niatkan semua rutin itu kerana Allah. Bilamana orang kata hidup ini untuk beribadah, itulah ibadahnya. Bilamana segalanya dibuat kerana Allah: Lillahi taa'la. Jangan sia-sia kan ibadah percuma seperti ini sebab apa sahaja yang dibuat tanpa niat kerana Allah, pahala pun pergi dengan sia-sia.

Ini tazkirah untuk diri sendiri. Lama lama nanti inshaAllah dah takut nak buat dosa. Apa ke gila nak buat dosa lillahi taa'la. kan?

Will you survive?

There's a reason I said I'd be happy alone. It wasn't 'cause I thought I'd be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone, and then it fell apart I might not make it. It's easier to be alone. Because what if you learn that you need love, and then you don't have it?

What if you like it?

and lean on it?

What if you shape your life around it?

and then, it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain?

Meredith Grey: Grey's Anatomy S07E22

Over the rainbow

A few days back, I've had a little gathering with 3 juniors. We knew each other a year ago when we were together in one event at Sepang international circuit. During the whole event, there weren't many malay girls and if there were, most of them aren't my type.

Well, dont judge me. It just that I aint type of a girl who basically enjoy clubbing and swimming at hotel's pool with the guys. Though they tried to disclose their activities from me but in the end of the day, one of the chinese guy said to me: You dont do clubbing, arent you? while refering to my hijab.

So that night, I spent my dinner with those 3 juniors. We talked and chit chatted for almost until midnight. It was so interesting to talk to them about politics and such. They're open minded and they did read a lot. We had our little argument when it comes to politics but it just good to share your thought with those people.

A few days back, I promised to treat them for a dinner. I missed talking to them indeed. They inspired me a lot. and before we parted, I said to them: Dont put yourself in too much pressure, in the end of the day everything will be fine. Dont worry so much.

Somehow, it feels like I'm saying it to myself. So much things happened lately with so irrational and emotional people. Allah.