It is miracle to know how those strangers became my saviours. Despite of being ignorance with my presence, they were there when I needed it the most.

I feel appreciated, really. Though, these 2 weeks had been pretty tough on me, but I managed. Alhamdulillah, this is only a part of His plans to test me. to testify my ultimate faith of Qada' and Qadr. to believe in Him. to stay grateful.



It's a cliche though to say that I'm faking a smile. But yes, it is. I'm faking my smile, my laughter and my so-called solace. I'd really wanted to talk to someone, to let it out yet I found no one.

And I chose to cry and hide behind my cubicle. I pray for nobody to hear that but I know someone caught a glimpse of my tears running down my cheek. When I posted it on facebook, people were making fun of me. I laughed with them but I cried inside. I couldnt get it out, it's burdening.

I listened to many people problems yet I found no one to listen to me. People only wanted to know (out of their curiosity of course) but nobody really bothers to care.

The books you read in class always have some strong connection with whatever angsty adolescent drama is going on.

Olive Penderghast: Easy A

Right now, I could relate with Olive Penderghast. Irony? Yes, it is.


Morning Sorrow

As I went to the office this morning, like any other working day, I saw some staff in the office were talking. Well, it is rare to see people gossiping at this very early morning.

Then, that odd morning gossiping session turns out to be a pretty bad news. My heart skip a beat upon hearing that news. Nobody bother to do their work and everybody is worried and waiting for more news to come out.

An explosion occured at the offshore platform. People are injured, things are getting very chaos. And one of the unlucky people is the husband of my deary sister. A staff that I called sister for her kindness and warm welcomed ever since I am here.

My whole heart goes to her and her husband. That morning gossiping session turn out to be a morning sorrow. I remember her facebook status last night and I almost cried.

In this oil and gas industry, the working risk is a lot more higher than any other places. That is why you get highier pay. But it is really not worth the risk compared to the pay.

Lets pray for the victims to have a speedy recovery. Ameen.


Locked up

Like an angry apple tree
I throw my apples if you get too close to me

Locked up: Ingrid Michaelson

You always have two choices (at least) in everything; Do or do not. I chose to do not, so far. It wasnt pretty and some times leave me in anger and dissatisfied. But that's my choice and I live with the consequence.

You have your own choices. Life is too short and live it to the fullest, true. But is it really satisfying? Did you find solace through everything you did, through your choices?

Mom once said to me: Kalau hidup dirundum masalah dan tekanan, periksa hubungan dengan Allah dan Ibu bapa.

Take some time to reflect your lifestyle and ask yourself, is it really satisfying?



Will the rain smell the same
Will our loosing treacherous game
And neglect most people who
Seems so worthy

Years from now: Aizat Amdan