Not a perfect life

I was having rough time in my career. I've been jumping around a lot in this 2-3 years but it is not due to career progression. Everything is stagnant if not worse than my earlier career experience. I am scared most of the time and demotivated to even come to work. Nothing really excites me and getting bad comments from superior during appraisal make it worse.

My first superior was the kind of boss who can be challenged. He let me throw my own ideas or disagree with him. He shaped the way I worked. Then I started working with different superior who kinda rigid and i get restless. I get angry. The next superiors apparently made it worse for me (at least). They were mostly not only rigid but very authoritative in the sense that you cant say no or do things differently.

 Now I'm tired with all the fighting. I am doing things that i dont really believe in just for the sake of avoiding arguments. I lost my creative side. I become more and more demotivated with work. I was once dream high for my career. I aspire to be in vice president office but now I might be retired as mediocre engineer; no achievement to be proud of.

This is such a gloomy entry. But i just wanted to throw it out there. People seems to see my life kinda perfect sometimes. It is far from perfect. We all have skeletons hiding in the closet. Just because we talked mostly about the good things in life, doenst mean we dont experience the bad one. Talking about bad experience is painful and you just dont go around and telling people about it.

The truth is, I am a fighter. I'll continue fighting. You should too. Never let people or surrounding beat you down. This moment will pass, good or bad. We can blame everything to everyone or to fate but in the end, this is our life. We have to take charge of it. We have to take charge with our own happiness.

Life is hard but it is worth fighting for, inshallah.

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